This is a piece of prose I wrote last year that is pretty personal to me. Me and Hector were a little over a year of being married and had already gone through some hard stuff. It doesn't reveal any secrets or intimacies. What it does reveal in it's short form is the ups and downs of going through life spiritually intertwined with your spouse and the spiritual battles you face together. I hope that translates well as you read it. I have updated certain parts to fit some of the current experiences we've had.
I guess one could say this is an ode to our marriage and the things we have endured, the change we have quietly fought for in our relationship as well as the world around us, and the small things that make all the difference. We are simply sinful humans serving a big, gracious, loving God. We make mistakes, but we are also made in His image. And because of that fact, we choose to work every day as individuals, and as one, to glorify and exemplify the One who created us and sent His son to die for us. Sadly, the life of a Christian couple, or any Christian alone, is not an easy one. Here is my ode.
Our colors blend together to make a lovely shade of taupe. Much like a latte - bittersweet- we are up, energetic, then sleepy. What you see is what you consume; we are transparent. Our daily routine reflects mundaneness but our minds are filled with mazes, roads, forests of innovation and ideas and yearning to change the small world of Southern California. To change to glorify the Lord. Our daily routine also consists of fighting personal demons and streams of sadness because of past mistakes. Held back, stuck, doubtful. Looking for someone to blame, we are still a lovely shade of taupe. The color of sand, of wheat, of a ceramic pot filled with a plant we just planted that's sitting on our balcony. These things are calm, so normal they are forgettable. These things that are part of creation, they are spinning in bliss because they know they are taken care of. We are spinning because we have forgotten that we are too. We are also spinning in newness, new promises, new possibilities, but also spinning in sickness and spiritual warfare. But also in screaming matches and talks of ending our lives. We are taupe. Blended together imperfectly, made in God's image, together as one we go on.
Thank you for reading. Posting this is a huge step out of my comfort zone. I am grateful for your time spent.
Sincerely + with love,